Chapter Eight

The morning was brighter than ever and it was another day. Everything was new except for the four of us.

I woke up to find myself on the floor; lying next to a very much exhausted Sean who looked like he had gone twenty rounds with a brick wall. His bruises were starting to turn purple at places around his neck and shoulder and his mouth was wide open, drooling effortlessly showing his fatigue level to me. I looked around me and I found Deke exactly where he was last night, curled up restless among the sheet I covered him with. I sat up in my place and turned my head around to find Rocky almost falling off my bed; his hands are hanging out, sleeping like a sweet little kid.

If this was any other day I would’ve been the happiest person in this entire world. I was witnessing the most peaceful sight that I could cherish forever. My friends, all lying around like kids after a slumber party. Only thing is that, when they open their eyes, the peace is going to disappear. It will be back where we left it last night and the things that follow it aren’t going to be pretty. They weren’t meant to be in this mess, or were they?

My head was blank on what to do next. I kept looking at my reflection in the mirror as I brushed my teeth. I saw the same face that I saw last night after my rage was brought out. The determined and the tough one that gave me the guts face my demons every time. But what was missing was a plan. If I was going retrace my tracks, I will have to reopen a lot of things that are closed for the good. I will be putting a lot of things at risk that I necessarily wouldn’t have to do. Should I drop my guard and risk it all?

As I was brewing the coffee too, I was still wondering about the scenarios that may pop up. I had to put a step forward if I was going to involve myself. The only problem is that, my one single step may lead to a disastrous turn that I’d be regretting more than ever. It wasn’t easy as it seemed in the beginning. Last night, I was driven by pure rage and I would’ve given up everything when I would’ve been asked. After I felt Sean’s tears though, my mind became clearer. He was already in pain. All three of them were already in pain. If they came to know what I had done, I don’t think I’ll survive after that. As the whistle in the kettle blew, I decided to allow my thinking to subside and take care of them for a while.

I walked up to Sean where he was on the floor, right now, twisting and turning uneasily as his body was getting ready to wake up. Without my knowledge, a small smile showed up in the corner of my lips, reminding me of the good old days.

‘I presume that you still are a ‘coffee-in-bed’ person.’ I greeted a drowsy Sean with the widest smile I can possibly put up as he looked through his narrow sleepy eyes. He graciously returned the smile and sat up to take the hot coffee mug off my hands.

‘Oh I still am. There is no other comfort for me than having coffee in bed. That marks the morning for me!’ he rejoiced holding the cup high as I got off my hinges.

‘I once again presume that Rocky is still the ‘brush-before-coffee’ person’ I continued the conversation as it was making the both of us feel light and calm.

‘Of course he still is. He’d hit me right now if he sees me drinking coffee like this…again!’ he was laughing as he sipped his coffee and I felt better looking at him this way.

Just then, Deacon sprang up on the couch like he had an invisible alarm strapped to his head that went off right now. He shook his head vigorously, like he was trying to shake off the after math of a terrible nightmare. I figured, after the fact that he’d spoken about me to Mia, things have changed between us and thought that I’d include him in our little conversation.

‘I finally presume that Deke is still the ‘I-hate-coffee’ person.’ I said with a wide smile in my face as I looked at Sean.

He and I looked simultaneously over at Deke. His face stiffened and he fixed his gaze on me, as if he was cringing at the thought of me mentioning his name like that. Sean didn’t know how to react either as he held his cup half way to his mouth and sat there staring at the both of us. I felt I couldn’t swallow at all as he kept looking at me, now his gaze a little relaxed yet a little strained as to not knowing what to speak next. I couldn’t swallow, so I decided to spit few words immediately.

‘I just wanted you to know I’ve got juice, in case you still hate coffee.’ I stuttered and spilled my words as his gaze was still fixed upon me. A second later, he relaxed and turned away the other side.

At least some things don’t change… unlike me.

Just as the awkward moment began to cease, there was a knock on the door.

‘I’ll get it…’ I announced as Sean moved around restless.

I opened the door to find the one person I thought I won’t be seeing around for a while.

Mia was standing there, looking at me with a pair of anxious eyes wanting me to talk first. I just opened my mouth when she suddenly decided to talk before me.

‘We need to talk…alone preferably.’

She was anticipated and also really worried. I was still silent, not ready to talk yet. I just decided that I’d let her pour it all out. I lead her out and closed the door behind us. She was fidgeting with her bag with such tension. She looked really disturbed and I can tell that she hadn’t been sleeping. I couldn’t bear to see her this way as she is one really cheerful person. To have to think that I was a reason for this happening was just adding fuel to the fire that’s been burning inside of me.

Before I could start apologizing, she chose to speak once again.

‘Look Ayu…about last night…’ she was stuttering through her words as she began. I waited patiently for her to release it all out.  ‘Last night, you chose to show me a side that no one had any idea that it was even a possibility. You have a past that is kept a mystery for some reason. You should’ve faced something really terrible to have such a personality inside you. I also see why you are hesitant to open up. Sean spoke to me last night feeding some sense into me too. So, I just want to know that I’ll wait till you are ready to tell me exactly what happened. Hey, where am I gonna go? Until then I’ll hang around…I’ll…’

And I couldn’t wait anymore.

I pounced forward and hugged her so tight that I could feel the tension she felt at that instant. She didn’t expect me to throw myself on her but I didn’t care if we’d even fallen down the flight of stairs behind us. I knew that she was there for me.

‘Hey…calm down!’ she was whispering in my ear as she held me back.

‘Thanks…’ it was all that I could manage out of my mouth at that moment.

‘Anytime…’ she whispered back slowly as she let me free. ‘Besides, you do need me. I knew you’d be offering up only coffee as all your breakfast dates are with me. I brought eggs, bacon and then some essentials like brushes, soaps and all for the guys.’

I kept looking at her with a thankful look and she flashed one of her wonderful smiles at me.

We walked back in with smiles perched perfectly on our lips and as soon as we entered, Mia walked her way inside and sat next to Deke. With the smile still radiant in my face, I looked over at Sean, who was holding his coffee gracefully and looking at me with such comfort and relief in his eyes. I nodded my head and mouthed a ‘thank you’. He nodded his head in return. Just then, Rocky walked out of my room and balanced him slowly next to the door. He rubbed his eyes like a kid and looked around to check out who all was there. When his eyes fell on Sean, he decided to speak.

‘I hope you brushed your teeth before you started drinking the coffee.’

Sean looked at me immediately and I couldn’t help it anymore and I burst out laughing. I also couldn’t help but to look around and I also noticed Deke having a small grin on his face. Sean was laughing along with me while Mia sat there looking like lost cat.

‘What did I say?’ Rocky slowly asked, still dazed and confused.

I grabbed one of the extra brushes Mia had bought and balanced it in his hands and walked into the kitchen with my smile still intact.

Some things don’t change after all.

‘We need to figure out our next move…’ Deke unusually started off a conversation that we thought no one was going to talk about.

All through our breakfast, all of us were acting like we subconsciously chose to wait for the next person to start talking. I thoroughly noticed that Sean was seriously in no mood to talk about anything and Rocky was even barely present in spite him being conscious. He was scrambling the already scrambled eggs on his plate and kept giving me his cold stare. I helplessly kept looking at Sean but he was so immersed in focusing the bacon, he barely looked up to me. Mia was seated next to Deke, her eyes locked upon him like she had to be staring at him for him to stay alive. He was, just like his other brothers, lost or immersed or whatever word can be related to thinking about whatever happened. I can tell that Mia was disturbed by the sight and I can also tell that she was secretly wishing for him become okay. Whatever happened at that club that night?!

Right when all of them decided to clear their plates with great difficulty, Deke chose to start talking about the much anticipated topic.

‘What do we do? Where do we go?’ Sean suddenly became interested and turned around to give Deke his complete attention.

‘We go to the cops, of course! It’s not like we will be able to hunt them down ourselves.’ Rocky spoke in a drowsy tone. It was way obvious that his concussion hadn’t left him yet but it seems like his head was definitely clear about one thing…

‘How are we going to deal this whole thing? This is all a little too much. These guys are really high maintenance. How much do you think that the cops would be able to do?’ Deke now was suggesting the pros and cons of the move.

‘Well…you got a better idea? Because I am listening!’ Rocky was now raising his voice to make his point across.

When all of this was going around forming up a vital conversation, my head was fighting over one daunting question.

When should I start involving? Or even better…should I involve at all?

What if my fears are wrong? What if all of this wasn’t my fault at all? What if there was some dirty past in their lives, something that is worse than what I have? I shouldn’t blow the safety of whatever I felt that I should protect forever if this issue had nothing to do with me. Until and unless I am sure of what this is about…I am not going to act on my own. I sincerely hope that this has nothing to do with me… I have decided this and I am firm inside of my head. I didn’t know why but I kept repeating this to myself; I knew it already. Probably because I want to make sure that my adrenaline rush won’t screw things up again. That was it; I confirmed it for one last time.

And right then….the phone rang.

It was apparently Sean’s as he was the only one hustling his way off the breakfast area. With my attention brought back to the normal world, I felt a very uneasy feeling that I will feel only because of one reason. My eyes met perfectly with Rocky’s unfazed gaze and I could see him reading me. I was always an open book to him and it was never something that I hated. In fact, it was better that way as I wouldn’t have to utter words that possibly hurt a lot of people, a lot of times. Now however, I can see bother in his eyes.

He is bothered about the fact that I was not giving him anything anymore. This transformation that has come upon me was the last thing he’d imagined to happen. I was more careful about my moves, my look, my actions and they seemed more mysterious than ever. It wasn’t surprising to him either, that I was actually holding things back. The thing that bothered him was the truth…that he didn’t seem to know; the one little thing that I wasn’t giving him. I could almost hear his inner thoughts echoing into my ear.

‘Tell me Ayu…please. I want to know.’

It was the one thing that I feared at the moment and the one thing that I was definitely not going to let it out.

‘Just wait for a while…it’ll get better.’ I think back hoping to reach him through my mind. He reacted almost instantly by blinking the first time of the ten minutes he was staring at me and shook his head like he was in dismay. Before any further ‘thoughts’ were exchanged, Sean entered into the room, distracting us with his resonant voice.

 

‘That was Clarence… she says her dad can help with the cops.’ He was still staring at the phone as he spoke to us; like it had given him, a ray of hope and he had to hold it tight to not let it go.

‘We have to visit her place now, don’t we?’ Mia suddenly spoke like she was the grumpy one in the gang. How much has she been rubbing off of Deke?

‘Why are you so concerned?’ I was surprised by her selfish worries at a time of need as this. I thought she was her new BFF.

‘Mark stays there. He will until our curriculum is over. It just stirs a lot of bad memories with him. Just the history scares me badly.’ It was a valid reason and I actually almost forgot about that Mark guy. She was always worried about her sanity and she’ll definitely lose it if she involves with him again.

‘Don’t worry, Mia. He won’t lay a finger on you!’ Deke told her that with the most reassuring voice possible and went into the bathroom closing the door behind him, leaving Mia smiling all by herself, in her own world of fantasy where she probably was flying around holding his hands as firmly as possible. What put me off was the fact that Deke actually knew about the possible physical abuse Mia would’ve gone through. He knew it already?

Really? How much happened at the club that night?!

 Mia was driving her car towards the Dawson mansion which was pretty much the landmark of the entire area. Anyone who walks into the lane will definitely notice the white marble stoned exterior walls and the huge gate of iron that guards them from the unnecessary attention on the outside.

The Dawsons were a powerful family just because of their money. It’s been around for generations before the current Dawson was even born. Kennedy ‘Ken’ Dawson was not only known for his polite gestures towards the society and his tee total personality, he was considered to be the most sensible Dawson that has been around for the past twenty years. The others failed to keep their heads stuck outside of all that money and ended up being suffocated by it.

Clarence was also not like one of those heiresses that trash their father’s money and act around irresponsible. She went to high school and ended up being the valedictorian. Now she is going to college with Mia, learning literature. She was pretty and would’ve won every pageant she’d enter. Then again, she had chosen to refrain from any of the activities that would make her look like a complete whore. When I just think about her profile, I conclude that no one would be a better pair for Sean than Clarence.

The Dawson family was clean and I had no worries about involving them in this fiasco that was building up. They are sincere and they really meant it when they had offered their help. At least that was what I read out of Sean’s face, which showcased some comfort after such a display of agony the previous night.

Mia and I were seated in the front while the guys squeezed themselves in the back. It was a little funny to see how all three of them tried to adjust inside that little space they had for each other owing the discomfort to their muscular structure. Of course Mia didn’t plan on a ride where she’d be hauling around four people all around town. She bought the car for ‘personal’ purposes. None of it mattered to her now as she was more focused than I was at the moment of the crisis in hand. As she pulled over at the front gate of the mansion, she let out a loud sigh. It was unusual for the moment but when I met her face, I could see it was draped with all the worry she had been avoiding in her life for the past 21 years of her life. I put my arm over hers and squeezed it with assurance that it’ll be okay. She looked at me and gave me a weak smile and nodded her head to thank me.

It was of course her favorite band that is in jeopardy right now. She might not have known them on a personal level but she had been a devoted fan and cared for them as much as any family member would do so. I could feel the concern wrapped around all of us, hoping this ends smooth and that we might move on like it was a nightmare that we all shared.

When they were wishing for that to happen, I was wishing that I will end in a position where I’d take all my skeletons inside my closet to my grave with me.

I got out of the car last and watched the guys and Mia walk past me. It was not the most ideal situation but I liked the fact that we were all together. As Sean lead the way and rang the door, I muttered one little prayer wishing that this togetherness would last longer without the hassles or issues before I followed them in, who were lead  by the Dawson’s personal butler.

‘Are you really alright, Sean?’ Clarence repeated for the nineteenth time, and yes I was counting. I ended up doing so when we were forced to wait in the living room for Mr. Dawson to descend down those humongous stairs that was right opposite to us. Apparently, he had a business call and apologized through one of his servants for the delay.

Clarence however was actually waiting in the living room when we entered. Her eyes were welled up with tears and she pounced immediately onto Sean as soon as she saw him. They hugged each other for what was like ten minutes while the rest of us stood there watching them cry. At least she did. Sean was trying to be strong but I was pretty sure that a couple of tear drops or so might have escaped his eyes too.

‘I really am…’ he repeated for the eighteenth time. Yes, eighteenth time. The first time she’d asked the question, he couldn’t manage enough words to express his desperation. That was exactly when she chose to give him a passionate kiss, which was very uncomfortable to watch for the rest of us. They moved onto the corner of the room while we welcomed ourselves and seated us on the couches.

I couldn’t help but not take my eyes off of them. They looked perfect and it made me feel like I was actually lucky to exist among such beautiful things. Clarence was balancing her tear drenched face with her forehead on his and he held her face gracefully assuring every second that it was alright. At that very moment, I couldn’t help but look over at Rocky and found something that I thought I would see. He was looking over at them with the same expression my face was bearing a minute ago. It was just like another involuntary action as I turned around, my face feeling a little hot from shyness. He was just shocking me every moment with his actions. It seemed like no matter how much I was trying to run, the connection was getting stronger between us.

Distraction was what I needed and it was duly delivered by Mr. Dawson who finally chose to descend down the stairs. Draping himself in a white coat, probably made out of something expensive, his mouth was holding a pipe smoking vigorously. He looked very clichéd for a wealthy man but none of it mattered to me at the moment. He was there to help us and that all mattered to me.

‘Mr. Harrow…’ he began as he reached us.

‘Yes…’ all the brothers, like an immediate reaction, reacted to his address.

‘Hmmm…sometimes I forget all three of you are ‘Mr. Harrow’. I better address you as Sean then.’ He turned around to Sean who now was next to us.

‘We really appreciate your help, Mr. Dawson. This means a lot to us.’ Sean gradually took up the conversation.

‘I understand that you have absolutely no idea about who would cause this kind of pain for you and your family. I, however, assure you that the best of the Texas police force is on it. You may sleep with faith tonight. You will have your parents next to you in no time.’

All through his speech I noticed a really genuine factor in his voice. He sounded as sincere in his efforts as anyone of us would be in finding them. I was really relieved that Sean actually found such a family for his future. The fact that a millionaire as him would allow his daughter to be in love with a travelling musician who’s trying to make it big itself is commendable. His maturity in such issues just gave me more faith about the issue. It also allowed me to relax my head and confirm to myself more that I needn’t involve myself in this debacle after all. The secret will go with me to my grave and that is final.

After a reassuring talk with Mr. Dawson, all five of us were walking out on the pathway to Mia’s car. Deke, Rocky and Mia walked off in front while I walked slowly following them. I was partially slowing down so that Sean will come and join me after he’d say goodbye to Claire for the moment. I had something to tell him and I knew this was the right time. As I was thinking about it, he walked right up to me and stopped to match my pace. Surprisingly, he started off before I could.

‘Something on your mind?’  He gave me his soothing face which was amazingly intact after this entire ruckus.

I slowly opened my mouth and the words fell out effortlessly.

‘I wasn’t around for nine years and there wasn’t a single day that I didn’t think about you. I was guilty beyond any imagination and all I could worry about was how you all turned out to be, not that I would’ve been an influence even if I was around. Still, I wanted you all to be okay. And I couldn’t be happier when I saw you all. The way you were actually focusing on life and how you were having a life, all of it made me feel…complete. Today…how Claire just held you close fearing that she might have to let you go and how you assured her…’ suddenly I was lost for words. The effortlessness vanished all of a sudden. I was choking on my words and I couldn’t breathe.

That is when Sean decided that my words were enough. He immediately put his hands around my shoulders and held me closer. He let my head rest on his chest and he started to do the talking.

‘There wasn’t a moment we didn’t think of you either. We knew somehow you’d survive through whatever you were going through and that you’d be fine. All we wanted to happen was when we see you; we wanted to see you being happy. I hope this was the same thing that you were trying to get across to me…’

I slowly looked up at him and saw his eyes sincerely looking at me. I also felt that his hold on me was so caring that I couldn’t help but manage only these words out of my mouth. It was something that I should’ve regretted about but I knew that wasn’t the case.

‘I am really glad that I saw you guys again…’

He gave me a weak smile but it meant his feelings were mutual in every single way.

When we reached the car, we could hear Mia’s voice squealing away in dismay.

‘What is wrong?’ Sean stepped in the front and asked her.

‘Your brothers are refusing to get into my car and insisting on catching a cab back home.’ She was complaining like a small child.

Sean looked over at Rocky and Deke and they were staring back at him, expecting him to take their side.

‘Look Mia…’ and he did ‘you do realize that we are three grown men right? Your car is however…’

‘Small?’ Mia suggested hoping to avoid something that would break her heart.

‘More like tiny…’ Sean had to tell that word out as I noticed how crammed they were at the back.

As soon as he uttered the word however, Mia’s face went small or should I say tiny. I immediately walked forward and took over from Sean.

‘Mia, it is no big deal. We’ll drive together okay? Let them come by a cab. It is alright.’ I soothed her before her childish self took over.

We walked up to the car while the guys started to walk forward to the main lane to see if any cabs came that way. As I was opening the door to the passenger side seat, I saw a cab coming our way. It grabbed my attention for two reasons. It was coming at full speed towards us and we were inside a street.

‘Is anything wrong, Ayu?’ Mia’s voice distracted me for a moment but there was something about the cab that I couldn’t wrap my head around.

‘Cabs don’t drive around in streets at that speed.’ I babbled as the cab whizzed past us with the same velocity.

When I knew that the cab was past us, my head had finally figured out what it was. I turned around immediately to see the guys holding their hand out to stop the cab and I knew that it wasn’t the best idea.

‘Guys…NO!’ I yelled out but it was too late.

The cab door opened both sides and three black men started to grab the guys and push them inside.