Chapter Seven

He was bleeding in my hands and I was there holding him down helpless and hopeless.

A sight that I hoped I’d never see.

The medics had just arrived and they were patching him up. The cops were swarming over the place and were disappointed that the assailants had fled already. What I didn’t understand is that why would there be an assailant here on the first place?

I was walking my way towards the inn after facing a cold Mia in the middle of the night. When I was thinking that Mia’s behavior was terrifying I had absolutely no idea I was going to be proved wrong. I came exactly when I saw the guys drop down from the second floor breaking open the windows. It was a shocking sight and the sounds that accompanied them were worse. There were gun shots echoing all over the place when I was half a block away. I came out here pacing my way and when I reached I was just a little too late. Before I could regret more, the cops had arrived to feed me a little relief.

As I sat inside the ambulance looking over the patch up work on Rocky I overheard two cops discussing the situation.

‘The assailants had used AR-15s and the boy is lucky to have survived the shot. There was minimum impact as he was already half way jumping out the window. These guys were packed to kill and it is a miracle that these guys have survived it. These guys were trained as far as I can tell from the carnage they’ve left behind. If there was one reason for them to flee, they would’ve got what they came for and left these guys for fate.’

‘I guess you are right. They claim that their parents were with them. Unfortunately we didn’t find them anywhere around here. They must’ve been the targets.’

Their parents were the targets? Why were they targeted on the first place?

‘It’s done.’ The paramedic’s voice gathered my attention. ‘He’s having a concussion so it is better for you to monitor him properly. Give him enough rest before he is up and actually doing some work. He’ll wake up in a couple of minutes as the drug wears off.’

‘Thank you.’ It was all I could manage as my attention was stuck upon Rocky as he laid there, his collar drenched in his own blood and his heart going through a lot pain because of this.

I took his hand involuntarily and squeezed it as tightly as possible. I was terrified by the sight and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do next. I was planning to let go of him for his own good. Now when I want to leave him for his benefit, something else is haunting him, making my worst fears come true. I just wish this isn’t what I think it is…

Before my imagination could go hay wire, Sean joined me. He was already patched up for his wound in his elbow and had returned from giving his statement to the police. His t-shirt was tattered in places and doused with his own blood at places. His hair was messed up and he was walking like he had not eaten for days together. He stopped right next to the van, close enough to talk to me.

‘Hey…’ he couldn’t tell me anything else. He was barely holding in his tears and I knew better not to aggravate him. I maintained the topic above any emotional questions.

‘Where’s Deke?’ I asked casually.

‘He’s getting his forehead stitched. He was slit by a glass there and…’ he was probably having flashes of the dreadful moment.

‘It is okay.’ I saved him the pain by dropping the topic.

‘How is he doing?’ he pointed to his little brother and controlled his emotions.

‘The doc says he’ll be fine but has suffered a concussion. He should be back to his consciousness any minute now.’ I recited everything the medic told me.

‘Uh huh…’ it was all he could manage at the moment.

When I was lost there, not knowing what else to talk to him, he chose to start again.

‘What now?’ he slowly asked managing all the strength he could.

‘We’ll go to my place and then…talk about it, if that is okay with you.’ I suggested in the most reassuring way I possibly can. I put my other hand on his shoulder and gave him a little squeeze. He leaned on it gently trying to soak up all the comfort he can from it. He kissed my hand gently and gave another glance at Rocky before I repeated my statement.

‘Is it okay for you to come to my place?’

He slowly nodded his head in agreement and walked over by the next ambulance truck where Deke was getting patched up, probably to tell him about the plan. I was still holding Rocky’s hands when he finally started to move and moan giving me signs that he was getting back to his conscious state.

I had absolutely no idea as to what was happening but all I knew is that this was just the beginning.

I let go off his hand to allow him gain his normality while I got into the van and called the one person who can aide me right now.

‘Hello? Mia?’

‘What do you mean they were shot?!’ Mia was yelling at the top of her voice as she was driving the car.

Deke was riding shotgun in the front with Mia while I had Rocky lying on my shoulder still on the effect of the anesthetic he was given and Sean sitting silently next to me. The situation was highly inappropriate to discuss the happenings but it was typical Mia to let all the emotions out right then and there.

‘Mia…I’ll fill you up when we get home. Now is not a great time.’ I knew I was right when I saw Sean’s face without any expression looking out the window without blinking.

‘Alright, I’ll stay quiet.’ She grumbled as she turned left to enter my street. As she was driving, she slowly looked towards Deke who was seated in a similar fashion like his elder brother.

‘Are you alright?’ she asked in a subtle voice echoing real concern for him.

He turned around to face her, making eye contact and nodded his head with sincerity. I wonder what sparked up between them but I was happy that they were bonding.  

She parked her car in front of my apartment or in front of something like that.  It didn’t qualify as an apartment. It was an old building with two floors and I lived in the first. I was on rent for that place and it is exactly what I can afford with the money I make. It is dull and dark most of the time and I try my level best to keep my portion as bright as possible.

Mia held the door open while Sean and Deke pulled their brother out. Deke was barely able to stand by himself and he almost tripped on his leg. Before he could lose his balance, Mia went on to catch him and lend him her shoulder. I meddled inside my bag to find the keys as I lead the way for the both of them.

As I mentioned earlier, my place was old. So it wasn’t really used to the concept of elevators. I was really disturbed by the fact that I had to let them climb a flight of stairs when they were barely able to walk on their own. But I was also happy that I was living only in the first floor. I opened the door and let Sean drag in Rocky followed by Deke walking on the support of Mia.

‘Put him in my bed…’ I suggested when Sean was looking around for a place for Rocky to rest.

I pointed to the next and the only other room in my apartment with the only bed I own. I never figured or planned to have guests, at least not in this life time. Mia let Deke sulk onto the couch and sat next to him, looking over him all worried. For a moment I saw the situation around me and before I knew the tension got to me. I was breathing hard at the moment and didn’t even realize it. I was feeling the tension reach to my limits and I had a desperate need to run away from here.

‘I’ll just wash my face and come back.’ Saying that I rushed into my bathroom and locked the door behind me.

The splashes of cold water were all I needed at that moment. I removed my jacket and threw a handful of water all over my face and kept doing it until my breathing was even. I held on to the basin for balance while I looked at my reflection on the mirror. My face was the same as it was yesterday but there was something else that was different and I knew exactly what it was.

Fear was catching up to me and fast. I was not sure what was shaking me but I wasn’t a person who’s shaken up by anything except my emotions. Emotions…my emotions are scaring me, the emotions that I show when my loved ones are in danger scares me to death. This was exactly that and I seemed to be not handling it well enough.

Just as I was battling my thoughts for some clarity, there was a knock on my door.

‘It’s me!’ Mia called from the other side.

I opened the door slowly, still my face dripping with the cold water and let a disturbed Mia in. She took one glance at the living room where Sean and Deke were seated in the couch and making sure they were okay before closing the door behind us.

‘I figured that this would be the appropriate place for the both of us to talk about what happened.’

‘Thanks for coming as soon as I called.’ I didn’t know why but I started off with that line. She was caught off guard by my reaction but reacted calmly as if she was good at handling pressure situations. Generally it was me.

‘It is okay. I mean where else was I gonna go?’ she squeezed her hands inside her pockets. That was her sign of showing me that she is feeling uneasy by the situation she was in.

‘You don’t have to play tough you know?’ I couldn’t help but mock her over the charade she was putting up.

‘Shall we focus on the issue in hand?’ she suddenly got serious on me. Tonight she was all hard and strict on me. I was actually beginning to be scared of her. ‘What happened back there?’

I got serious too. ‘I am unclear about the whole issue just as you are. As far as I know, the guys were shot at and their parents have been abducted.’

‘Their parents were abducted?!’ Mia’s voice was almost close to screaming when she repeated the statement.

‘I get the shock just as much as you do, Mia. No one knows yet what the motive behind the attack was. No one can even guess or imagine what all this might be. We just have to be calm and a little strong to get the guys through that.’ I was trying to calm her down when she suddenly mentioned something that I never thought she would.

‘We? Wow… I didn’t realize you’d be including yourself in this. I actually even thought that you’d run away by jumping through the ventilation here.’ She was spilling out words that had venom in it. I was really taken aback by this new Mia that has come out.

‘Excuse me! I am not heartless enough to leave my friends in a dire situation like this.’

I was practically yelling out unable to control my anger.

‘So you are not heartless? I almost confirmed that when I heard Deke’s story. Do you know how much you’ve let these guys suffer? Now all of a sudden you are going to help them. Is that it? All this is a path to your redemption?’ she was going on and on not knowing what she was provoking.

‘Mia…you don’t know me! You are talking way too much. Stop talking before the both of us regret…’

‘Oh, you keep telling the same line over and over again. Aren’t you tired of this? You are so stuck inside your thoughts you are not able to see what is around you anymore!’

Suddenly few of her words completely out of the context affected me.

‘I am stuck alright…’ I spilled those words out without my knowledge and it surprised Mia more than it did to me.

‘Why do you feel that you are stuck? What is holding you? You need to give them some answers Ayu. They deserve it more than anyone.’

‘Let us not have this talk right now. We have a bigger issue in hand.’ I was trying to avert a disastrous end to our little talk here.

‘Oh no…you are escaping. Hell, you are so stubborn. You don’t know what you are causing here Ayu. And I am damn sure that you are going to leave the guys again and run away into another world escaping all of this!’

‘Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?’ I yelled out with all the rage I was holding up until now.

‘Because that is who you are! A coward who leaves her friends exactly when they need her.’

And then I lost it. I pounced on her, holding her back against the wall with my hands clutching the collar of her shirt. My hold was so tight she couldn’t even move an inch from her position. She was locked within my grip.

‘You know nothing about me! I am not a coward and I certainly don’t leave my friends in any situation. I won’t leave…I may be taken but never leave. Why doesn’t anyone understand that? Who are you to judge me? Who is anyone out there to judge me?’ I was screaming at the top of my voice not even realizing that the guys outside can hear me. It was too late to feel for that.

‘Who are you and what have you done to my friend?’ Mia slowly spoke these words close to my ear only to make me realize that I was acting the way I have not wanted to do so for a long time.

I let go off my grip and stepped back hesitating. I balanced myself on the opposite wall and saw my hands trembling like hell as I think back what I had just done. I turned to my left to face the same mirror I had faced a while ago. My reflection now though was the one I was terrified of for a long time. Opposite to me was a shaken Mia who was standing in a similar position as me. Just like how I was scared of my reflection, Mia was scared of what she was seeing right now where in the place of her friend, there was someone else.

As soon as Mia closed the door behind me, I slumped on to the floor right under the shower. I opened the shower for the cold water to come and hit my head with all its force, feeding some sense into me. I was still dressed and yet I was getting wet not knowing what my next move was. For a moment there I was wishing that this freezing water would give me extensive hypothermia and I’d just die right here, right now. Only then I realized that death has a possible aversion towards me. If I had to have died, there were a lot of situations before that were deadlier than a stream of cold water.

I was crying before I realized I actually was. It was like an involuntary action and I was not doing so well lately. The things I have been running from are all coming back to me all of a sudden and this was exactly something I’ve been dreading for a long time. After nine years, I meet the only family I have ever had and they lose the one they had. After nine years I meet my best friends and I lose the one other person who had the courtesy to even talk to me when the others wouldn’t. It was like I was the reason for all this to happen after nine years of peace in everyone’s life. Just as soon as I come in, things are going downhill for the only ones I love.

What if I was the reason for all this? What if all this was pinned on me? What if all this was happening because of me? What if all this has something to do with me? Have they found me? Have they found the connection between me and my friends? Have I been compromised?

If that was the case, then the fight is coming to me. They are bringing it to me. I have been running enough or at least they think so. If that is the case, then I will be up for it. I will protect my family from all of them out there raising a finger against them. But what if all of this is not about me? Who was doing this to them? With a million thoughts running in my head, I sat there getting drenched, soaking myself, trying to decompose into thin air.

It was then I heard a loud thud on the floor. I had almost forgotten about the guys out there. I had made the mistake I haven’t done in nine years. I let my fear take over me. I had to stop being myself and be the one person that I’ve been running away from. It was time for me to step up to my world and face it; not letting it hurt my family. It was time again and I finally realized it. It was all happening again.

I got up and closed the shower. I grabbed my towel and as I wiped my face, I walked towards the mirror and saw my reflection now. I was content and complete. I was back and bigger this time.

I was their worst nightmare.

I opened the door after I managed to wipe off all the water possible of myself and came out to find Deke already asleep on the couch and Sean seated on the floor with a pair of sheets and pillows for the both of us.

‘I thought I’d make myself at home.’ His voice was somehow returned to normal but still had hints of sadness in it.

‘Where’s Mia?’ I was just curious all of a sudden.

‘She left right after she closed the door on you.’ He said plainly. Then he noticed me that my clothes were dripping wet. ‘I see you’ve taken a shower.’

I looked at myself quietly and stood there not knowing what to reply to him.

‘You want to talk about it? Whatever has happened?’ he put forth the one question I’ve been waiting for him to ask.

‘Right after I change…’ I informed him and went into the bed room to get some dry clothes.

As I walked into the room, I saw a peaceful Rocky sleeping in my bed all cuddled up with my pillows. He looked the exact same way he was when he was ten years old. He looked and felt the same to me. They all did. Now however their lives are in jeopardy probably because of me. I ruined their lives. The only thing I can do right now is to give their lives back to them. And that meant giving them their parents back. It also meant that a life without me. I was thinking all of this when I was changing behind the closet door. I knew my mission and I was going to make sure that this was all okay.

After wearing dry clothes, I walked out to join Sean. By that time, he had laid out the sheets for the both of us and was waiting for me to come and join him. I slowly sat beside him and folded my legs while he sat cross legged and held them by his hand. I was waiting for him to start off and he got the sign.

‘What happened between you and Mia?’ he started off with a light topic. At least he thought so.

‘If you are going to say that you didn’t hear a thing, I am not going to believe you.’ I replied sarcastically as I knew that he knew what happened.

He took a deep breath admitting defeat and spoke. ‘She is just concerned you know? Just like the rest of us. Except she chose to show her anger when we didn’t.’

‘Were you angry with me?’ I slowly asked him a question I’ve wanted to ask for a long time.

‘Well…we were all devastated by your disappearance and we didn’t know…’

‘I meant were *you* angry with me?’ I made myself clear this time.

‘Why am I your prime concern now?’ he was surprised by my question.

‘Well…I already know how these two feel about me. You however were just like a concerned parent to me half the time. I never really got to know the friend you actually were to me.’

‘You want the truth?’ he leaned back and balanced his body by his hand as he asked me.

‘I am denying you that so I don’t expect you to give it to me.’ I had to be honest somewhere.

‘I was.’ he answered in spite of the fact that I wasn’t going to tell him anything. ‘I was the angriest of them all. I just never showed. When you joined us, you adored me with your presence. Being the elder one with the responsibilities was made easy with you around. You were the one who understood me. You were the little sister I never had. Then you became the little sister that didn’t want to be there. I was…furious.’

I never expected him to feel this way about me. My heart was racing and every minute of my life now seemed more regrettable than ever. But I had to stay focused as my path was changing. It was too late for regrets. The future has to be better.

‘Do you trust me?’ I shot the next question that I needed a desperate answer for.

‘I do. I will always do. Even when you are not giving me the truth, I will trust you.’

My eyes widened and I was truly surprised. It was like he was reading my mind and connecting each question to the next corresponding situation I had thought about. What surprised me even more was the fact that Sean knew me more than anyone of the three.

‘Look…these two guys are more emotion driven. I’ve grown up to see the practical side. I practically raised them and I know that Deke and Rocky mean well. Don’t push yourself too hard. I believe you are hiding your past for a reason. When you feel that it is okay for us to know, you can tell. Just know this, if you’ve done something that hurts you or something that you are not proud of…we don’t care. It will not change our perspective towards you. I also spoke to Mia about it. By the way she took it; she’ll be back tomorrow morning and you’ll be hugging before you know it. You sleep well now. We have a lot of work to do.’ I couldn’t believe that he actually spoke to Mia for me.

‘Do you want to talk about what happened at the hotel?’ I slowly asked him not knowing if it was appropriate.

‘Nothing much did. We just got our asses out alive, that’s all.’ He gave me a faint smile and I understood that I should leave it then and there.

‘Can I ask one last question?’ my voice was shaking right now and he knew it.

He turned around with affirming eyes wanting me to ask him and I did. ‘Can I get a hug?’

He leaned forward and put his arms around me gently. He was acting like he didn’t want to take any aggressive chances to show all of his emotions and then be denied like Rocky earlier. But this time I chose to differ. I squeezed him hard and I held him like I won’t be holding him the next minute. I was letting my emotions flow before I arrest them all inside. He understood that I was finally okay and reciprocated his emotions by holding me firmer.

As we held each other, I felt something drip on my back and it was not my wet hair. Sean was suddenly letting his tears flow and I couldn’t do anything but to hold him long enough to comfort him.

‘It is okay, Sean. Let it all out.’ my voice was trembling as I felt his tears more and more.

‘They took our parents, Ayu. I called out to mom and dad. They were not responding. They took them. Why did they?’ he was crying like a little baby and I was helpless.

All I knew right now was one thing. I am going to give them their lives, no matter what.

‘I will find them for you. I promise.’

And it was a promise that I will keep until I die.